Tag Archive | publishing

I’m a top-ten finalist in Harlequin’s So You Think You Can Write Contest!

HUGE NEWS!!! I made the judge’s cut for Harlequin’s So You Think You Can Write contest! I’M IN THE TOP TEN! I had to keep that a secret for two weeks!  I am so grateful and so humbled to have gotten this far! What an amazing opportunity!


And now I really, really need everybody’s help. The winner of the contest (who gets a two-book publishing contract!) is picked by public voting only. I don’t know how much of a chance I have, considering some of the contestants I’m up against, but I’m going to give it all I’ve got! If you have a spare minute, I’d be eternally grateful if you guys would take the time to vote for me! You can vote once every 24 hour period until next Tuesday! And voting is much simpler. Just click the red “vote” button next to the title of my book! And a big thank you goes out to everyone who has supported me in this contest already. I am 100% sure I wouldn’t be here now without you! XXOO
The winner will be chosen by public voting, which will run from November 10th to November 17th. Voting is now open and each voter may vote one time per day (25 hours) during the voting period. If you wish to vote for me, you can find my entry on Harlequin’s official website: http://www.soyouthinkyoucanwrite.com/finding-home/ The winner of the contest and publishing contract will be announced on November 19th.

I made the top twenty-five in Harlequin’s So You Think You Can Write Contest!

I’m very pleased and excited to announce that my entry, Finding Home, is one of the top twenty-five finalists in Harlequin’s So You Think You Can Write Contest!

I’m so excited and humbled to be among so many great entries! This has just been so much fun! I am so grateful to have this opportunity! Meanwhile, the judges are busily reading and narrowing the field to the top ten! Fingers crossed! And of course, a huge thank you goes out to everyone who took the time to read, vote, and share my contest entry! Thank you SO much!

My Entry for the So You Think You Can Write Competition.

My first chapter for the So You Think You Can Write competition is up! I’d love some feedback from all my friends out there! I can make changes based on feedback up until September 21st, at which point it becomes my official contest entry. This is a steamy romance. If you aren’t a fan of those, you won’t like it! If you’d like to help me out and read my entry, you can find it here. Thanks!47897868-208-k165689

Interview with New York Times best selling author Marie Bostwick.

Today, we are lucky enough to have New York Times Best-selling author Marie Bostwick on the blog! Thank you so much for being here, Ms. Bostwick, and for sharing your thoughts with us!


AN: How did become a published author?

MB: Before I ever even considered submitting my work, I spent years learning the craft of writing.  For the first three, I wrote a short story every month, never with an intention of getting them published but only with an eye to honing my skills. Those were the years of my apprenticeship as an author, devoting myself to becoming the best writer I could be.  At the end of those three years, one of my short stories kept getting longer and longer until, finally, I realized it was a book.  I spent four years working on what became my first novel, FIELDS OF GOLD, published in 2005.

Once my book was done, I let it sit in a drawer for nearly a year before finally working up the courage to send it out. I knew absolutely no one in the publishing world and had no idea of how books got published so I did what I always do when I need information – I went to the library.

After some reading, I realized I was going to need an agent and that to get one I’d need a query letter. I poured over the Writer’s Digest Guide to Literary Agents, looking for agents that I thought might be interested in my kind of book. Next, after reading examples of query letters that worked in Jeff Herman’s Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, and Agents, I started working on one of my own.

I spent three weeks on that query letter – no kidding. I polished that letter like a diamond. When it was ready, I started contacting the agents on my list, about ten at a time. Then, I waited. That was the hardest part.  I kept careful track of all my responses, making sure I followed up appropriately. I got a lot of rejections.  But I was encouraged to note that 25% of the agents I contacted wrote back and asked to see more. Most of them ended up passing on my book but if that many people were interested enough to want more, I felt like I must be on to something.

And, as it turned out, I was.  After about four months, I found a very enthusiastic agent. Once that hurdle was cleared, it started all over again – more queries, more rejections, more waiting until, finally it came – the call.

AN: What was it like when you got “the call”?

MB: For me, getting the call is one of those things I’ll always remember but, at the same time, if you were to ask me for details, I’d draw a blank. But I do know that on April 14, 2004, my agent called to say we had an offer for a two-book deal with Kensington and after that…I pretty much didn’t hear anything else she said. I was so happy that none of the words really registered. It wasn’t the most satisfying and thrilling moment in my career, but it was as close second.  First place goes to the day when I came home and found the galleys from the actual book on the dining room table. I sobbed when that happened – all happy tears.

All told, it took ten years from when I first began writing in a serious way to when my first book was published.

AN: Can you tell us what a day for you is like, in terms of writing?

MB: I am a very slow writer compared to a lot of people, so I have to spend a lot of time at it.  Much of my morning ends up being spent on the business and promotional side of things so I am usually not able to get down to serious writing until after lunch. I try to wrap up by 6pm or so but it really just depends on when my deadline is and how the work is going. If I’m in a good place and don’t have to be anywhere, there’s no reason not to keep going – especially if the book is due soon. Sometimes 6pm stretches to midnight or beyond.

I am fortunate enough to have a lovely basement studio – half is devoted to writing and half to quilting – with a great window looking out onto our property. It’s a wonderful space to work in.  Oddly, however, one of my favorite places to write is on airplanes. I’m not sure why but I’m incredibly productive at 30,000 feet. I do have one odd little habit; at the beginning of each book, I choose a CD and I play it over and over and over as I’m writing.  It seems to help me get focused quickly and stay focused.

AN: I’ve noticed that there is often a very strong spiritual thread woven throughout your books. Can you tell us a little bit about why you chose to include a subject that could be considered controversial and why it was important for you to do so? 

MB: It’s so funny to me that issues of spirituality would be considered controversial – no matter what conclusions you reach, this is something that most everyone considers at some point so it seems entirely natural to write about it, at least to me.  Because my faith is entirely woven into my being, including spiritual elements isn’t something I think of as a choice but as part of painting a complete portrait of the characters. However, I have chosen, quite deliberately, not to write in the genre of Christian fiction. For me, that would just present too many limitations of what I could write and how I could write it.

AN: Do you have any words of wisdom or advice for my readers hoping to publish a book? If you could go back and talk to yourself when you were just starting out, before you had any success, what would you say?

MB: For those wanting to publish I would say, spend time really studying the art of writing and honing your skills before sending out your work.  Give yourself permission to have an apprenticeship and then enjoy every minute of it!  There is sometimes so much pressure to be published that I think people sometimes miss the joy of writing and that’s a shame. From a purely artistic standpoint, these pre-publication years are the most liberating and potentially creative times you will ever know as a writer.  Right now you have all the time you want to make your book the absolutely best it can be. Not having a deadline is just a huge gift.

Okay, I know that a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes about now. But if I were talking to my younger self today, that’s exactly what I’d tell her.  She probably wouldn’t believe me, but it’s absolutely true.


Marie Bostwick’s newest release, The Second Sister, is available now!

Years of long workdays and little sleep as a political campaigner are about to pay off now that Lucy Toomey’s boss is entering the White House. But when her estranged older sister, Alice, unexpectedly dies, Lucy is drawn back to Nilson’s Bay, her small, close-knit, Wisconsin hometown.

An accident in her teens left Alice mentally impaired, and she was content to stay in Nilson’s Bay. Lucy, meanwhile, got out and never looked back. But now, to meet the terms of Alice’s eccentric will, Lucy has taken up temporary residence in her sister’s cottage. There she discovers a trunk filled with exquisite quilts made by her sister and mysterious inscribed “To Maeve”, a name Alice never mentioned. As the days pass, Lucy begins to see the town, and Alice’s life, with new eyes.

Alice’s diverse group of friends appears to have little in common besides their love of quilting. Yet deep affection for Alice united them and soon Lucy, too, is brought into the fold as they share problems and stories. And as she finds warmth and support in this new circle, Lucy begins to understand this will be her sister’s enduring gift—a chance to move beyond her difficult past, and find what she has long been missing…

You can find out more about Marie Bostwick here.

You can follow her on Facebook here.

You can follow her on Twitter here.

Is it a disadvantage to be an introvert if you are an author?

I am a writer. I love to make up characters, delve into their psyches, spin out intriguing plots and meaningful dialogue. I lose myself in the worlds I make. Sometimes, the characters almost feel as real to me as people I actually know. That makes me a writer. But that’s not what makes an author.

If you’ve made any forays into the world of publishing, you know what I mean. Writers can’t “just” write anymore. They have to build a platform. They have to interact with their followers on social media. They have to promote themselves. They have to promote their books. And here is my problem; I’m an introvert.

Sure, it’s easier to be outgoing on social media. You aren’t face to face. You can take your time to think up replies. But for us introverts, it’s still hard. My mind just doesn’t work like that. I don’t naturally or easily think up ways to engage my readers. On top of that, all of these things use time, time that I could be using to, oh, I don’t know, actually be writing.

If you want to have a career as an author, however, you don’t really have a choice. That’s just the way publishing is now. And there is no denying that authors who engage in social media and self-marketing do have better sales than authors that don’t. But for me, at least, it’s a love/hate relationship. What about you? Do you think engaging readers is a good idea? Do you enjoy it? Is it hard for you? I’d love to hear what you think!

Interview with romance author Jennifer Hayward.

Today, we have romance author Jennifer Hayward on the blog! Welcome, Jennifer, and thank you for joining us!

B - Jennifer - Wide Shot

AN: How did become a published author?

JH: Well, ages ago I wrote three chapters and submitted to Harlequin/Mills & Boon in London. A senior editor at the time said she liked my writing, but not to resubmit that particular story. Over the years I went to conferences and did online/offline courses that helped me immeasurably. I also read a lot of craft books. I had a few rejections on partial manuscripts from Harlequin during that time. The rejections hurt but I had some amazing mentors along the way and it kept me going, that and my love of writing. I finally had success when I submitted to a Harlequin pitch competition and finalled in that competition and was asked to submit three chapters. That manuscript was sitting on my editor’s desk when I entered and won Harlequin’s So You Think You Can Write in 2012 for my first contract.

AN: What was that like when you got “the call”?

JH: The call was amazing because it was when I won So You Think You Can Write. The whole journey of the contest was a roller coaster ride and I was so excited and happy to win amongst all that amazing competition. The book I won with, The Divorce Party, is so close to my heart. The timeline for me getting published is hard to quantify as I started writing years ago but sporadically off and on. When I went freelance almost four years ago and really focused on the writing, I sold The Divorce Party about a year-and-a-half after that. It was the third full manuscript I’d finished.

AN: Tell us what a day for you is like, in terms of writing.

JH: I have always been very disciplined about writing. Even before I was published I would sit down and write for a whole afternoon or morning whenever I had my other work finished. Now I sit down with a cup of coffee in the morning and write until five or six or if I’m on deadline, maybe again at night. I generally write seven days a week when I’m writing a book as my head is so deep into it and I don’t like to lose the flow. I take breaks in between books. My husband built me a fab little desk in our sunny living room – I write there. I used to write in coffee shops but I got so caught up in what was happening around me I wasn’t so productive. Not sure it’s a quirk but I really LOVE coffee when I write. Oh and when I won So You Think You Can Write I had a lucky orchid on my desk so I always keep flowers on my desk!

AN: Was the publishing process what you expected it to be?

JH: I think it was really. There’s always things you learn as you go, but I think I had good mentors that gave me the inside scoop beforehand.

AN: Do you have any words of wisdom or advice for my readers hoping to publish a book? If you could go back and talk to yourself when you were just starting out, before you had any success, what would you say?

JH: My number one piece of advice is to allow your voice to shine. I didn’t sell when I wrote the books I thought my publisher wanted. I sold when I wrote with my full personality and love of the book engaged – I just put all of me down on the page – wrote the book of my heart. I didn’t get self conscious, I just lived those characters as if they were next door. Yes some lines have required elements but you have to be an individual within that line, bring something new to the table to sell. I would also say go to as many conferences, courses you can- learn as much as you can, take what works for you and let the rest go. There are so many great resources out there.

AN: Can you tell us a little bit about your latest/upcoming release?

JH: My new release is called The Italian’s Deal For I Do. It’s the kick off book for Harlequin Presents Society Weddings series. I truly don’t think I’ve ever had such a fun time writing a book and getting to work with other great authors in the series. There is such a soulfulness to this book for me, I just love Rocco and Olivia so much. I think the back cover blurb says it best:

The Italian's Deal for I Do

The Irresistible Italian: Married for Business 

He’s conquered global markets and immeasurable hearts, but to regain control of the fashion empire that’s rightfully his, Rocco Mondelli must prove his playboy days are over. His secret weapon? Supermodel-in-hiding Olivia Fitzgerald…and the power to ruin her if she refuses to play his loving fiancée!

But returning to the world stage revives Olivia’s old demons, and instead of walking down the aisle toward her gorgeous groom—she flees! The world holds its breath: Can the indomitable Rocco get his wayward bride to the altar on time?

The world’s sexiest billionaires finally say “I do”!

If you’d like a taste of the Society Weddings series I’ve written a prequel story that’s free on Harlequin’s website called Society Wedding Secrets. It’s a fun, debaucherous romp I hope you’ll enjoy!

You can find Jennifer Hayward’s latest book here:


Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble


Mills & Boon


You can find out more about Jennifer Hayward here:



Interview with romance author Rachel Brimble.

Today, we are lucky enough to have romance author Rachel Brimble on the blog! Thank you, Rachel, for being here with us!

Me - Ashford Aug 2014

AN: How did become a published author?

RB: My first book (Searching For Sophie) was published in 2007 after several years of rejections and rewriting. To be a published author takes a lot of hard work, determination…and a very thick skin. Once you have queried a book, try to forget about it and start writing your next one. You can never tell which book is going to make it and which isn’t, so it’s important to enjoy every part of the process.

AN: What was that like when you got “the call” for your first sale to Harlequin? How long did you write before you became published?

RB: It was fantastic! There was a lot of screaming and dancing, believe me J Finding Justice was my seventh full-length novel and when I was writing it I had no idea it would end up being the first of an ongoing series with Harlequin Superromance. Writing for Harlequin was, and still is, a dream come true.

AN: Tell us what a day for you is like, in terms of writing.

RB: I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mum to two teenage girls so I am able to write whenever the family schedule allows it. I treat my writing like a full-time job, so I am at the computer by 8.30am and work through to 5.30pm with an hour break for lunch. I also write as much as possible at the weekend…when my husband and kids aren’t looking, of course!

AN: Was the publishing process what you expected it to be? How did it differ?

RB: The publishing process was nothing like I imagined, lol! The biggest eye-opener was the amount of promotion involved and how many times you see your manuscript before it is published. Writing nowadays is about so much more than the actual writing – for any aspiring authors out there, be prepared to schedule editing and a hefty amount of promotion into your working day.

AN: Do you have any words of wisdom or advice for my readers hoping to publish a book? If you could go back and talk to yourself when you were just starting out, before you had any success, what would you say?

RB: The best advice I have ever received and like to pass on whenever I can is give yourself permission to write a “crappy” first draft. Once I followed this advice my daily word count tripled! Plan out your characters and an idea of where you’d like the story to go and then just write. Listen to the characters and follow their lead rather than push your ideas on them – go with the flow. You’ll be surprised how much easier the writing is and hopefully how much you enjoy the creative side. Once you have the words on the page and the draft is done, whipping it into shape is so much more enjoyable. At least for me, anyway!

AN: Can you tell us a little bit about your latest/upcoming release?

RB: My latest Harlequin release is CHRISTMAS AT THE COVE. This is my first Christmas story and the fourth book in the series – but all the books can be read stand-alone.

Cover 1

More family for Christmas?

Scott Walker doesn’t have time for a relationship. The sexy mechanic has career ambitions, not to mention a mother and three sisters to take care of. The last thing he needs is Carrie Jameson, the beauty he never forgot, arriving in Templeton Cove over the holidays with some unexpected news.

Scott still finds Carrie irresistible, and he’s not one to shirk responsibility. Scott’s issues with his own dad make the prospect of parenthood a minefield. But if he and Carrie can overcome their fears, this Christmas could bring them the best gift of all.

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble

You can find author Rachel Brimble here:





Facebook Street Team – Rachel’s Readers

Interview with Harlequin Presents author Michelle Smart.

Today, we are lucky enough to have Harlequin Presents author Michelle Smart on the blog. Thank you so much, Ms. Smart, for being here with us!


AN: How did you become a published author?

MS: I became a published author because I was lucky enough to write a book that an editor wanted to buy! That might sound like a facetious answer but it truly isn’t – in this industry there is an element of luck in that you have to get your book in front of an editor who is grabbed by your story and especially grabbed by your voice. I’ve always been a bookworm and always loved writing but it wasn’t until 2008, when my hubby and I went to Rome for our Wedding Anniversary that the romance bug truly bit me again and I decided it was time to do the one thing I’d promised myself since I was a teenager – to write my own Mills & Boon (what Harlequin books are published under in the UK)! My first two submissions were rejected at the partial stage, my third involved an R&R on my partial, which was also subsequently rejected, but then with my fourth submission I was invited to send in the full manuscript. It went through three rounds of revisions but was ultimately rejected. However, the editor I’d been working with had complete faith in me and invited me to write something new with her guidance (that’s what I mean about an author’s voice having to grab an editor – if she hadn’t seen something in my voice she enjoyed so much, she would never have gone out on a limb to help me craft a story right from its conception stage).  This book sold within a week of me sending the full in to her!

I can’t speak for any other publishing house but with Harlequin there is none of the ‘it’s not what you know it’s who you know’ business. I didn’t attend a single conference or enter a single pitch contest before I was signed (although I did enter the Mills & Boon New Voices competition twice and got absolutely nowhere!). I got noticed through the slush pile. I love the slush pile!


AN: What was that like when you got “the call”? How long did you write before you became published?

MS: Even though I was working under an editor, The Call was the most enormous surprise of my life! I don’t think there can be a single author alive who, after submitting to Harlequin, hasn’t dreamt of The Call, myself included, but when mine came it took me completely by surprise. For a start, the book hadn’t undergone any revisions, plus it had only been on the editor’s desk for a week. However, my editor had been offered a new job working for Harlequin’s single titles, so sped-read mine and made the call on her last day working for the category lines. She called me at 5.15pm. I was lying on the sofa suffering from the flu (oh, woe is me!) and it was one of those crazy moments in your life where everything is etched in your memory but etched as a blur! It took me almost five years to get there but it was worth every minute of it. I now have the best job in the world J


AN: Can you tell us what a day for you is like, in terms of writing?

MS: I can only really write when the kids are at school so as soon as they’re gone, I’ll have a (very) quick tidy-up then sit on the sofa with the laptop on a cushion on my lap and get writing… Okay, I don’t exactly get writing immediately. There’s always a good hour of procrastination to be done first. I write until the kids come home and also often write in the evenings when they’re in bed. My only real habit (apart from hourly coffee) is that I need to listen to music when I write. As long as I have my earphones and some caffeine, I’m good to go.


AN: Do you have any words of wisdom or advice for my readers hoping to publish a book? If you could go back and talk to yourself when you were just starting out, what would you say?

MS: My words of wisdom really only applies to people wanting to sub to Harlequin’s category lines – read as many of them as you can! I devoured every Presents/Modern that released (I still do) because that was and is my absolute favourite category line. Also, don’t think about it too much: some hopeful category writers approach writing a category as if there’s a checklist that needs to be ticked off (yes, I am raising my hand up as being guilty of that when I started!). But my main bit of advice is the old adage of ‘practice makes perfect.’ The more you write, the more it becomes like second nature. Consume the books and then, when you sit down and write, let your characters consume you.

If I could go back in time and talk to myself, I wouldn’t say anything. The route I took was the right route for me. The rejections didn’t knock me back – I knew that I was on a learning curve and getting closer and closer to my dream, so those rejections just made me more determined to get it right.


You can find out more about Michelle Smart here.

You can follow her on Twitter here.

You can follow her on Facebook here.

Her next Presents releases in May. You can pre-order it here.

SHATTERED: the first chapter of my YA novel.

I realized it’s been a long time since I posted any of my actual writing on my blog. I am a writer, just like most of my readers, so I thought it might be nice to post something of mine. This is the first chapter to a YA novel I wrote last year, titled SHATTERED. It is a 77,000 word contemporary, realistic young adult novel. Fair warning: I’ve been told it’s dark and there is some profanity in it as well.


Blurb for SHATTERED:

Ever since Leah’s alcoholic mom ran off to pursue her dream of becoming a Hollywood starlet, Leah has spent her whole life trying to keep the rest of her family together, and her best friend and boyfriend, Cody, safe from his own alcoholic and abusive parent.

But when Leah’s brother, Brandon, comes home from a photography assignment in Iraq with his legs broken into a million pieces by a roadside bomb, Leah’s safe and tidy world begins to unravel.

Leah can only watch as the people she loves skid out of control, as she begins to understand that she can’t convince someone to want to live, or that their life has value.  But somehow, she’ll have to find a way, or else watch helplessly as two of the people she loves more than anything else in the world slip away from her.


Chapter One

When your alcoholic mom takes off for Hollywood to pursue her dream of being a famous actress, you pretty much kiss a normal childhood goodbye. If you’re the only girl raised in a family of guys, and then you suddenly realize that it’s your life’s dream to design haute couture for the runway, you know that you’re going to be a little misunderstood. That’s okay, I dealt with that.

But when your brother, your only brother, the one who held your whole family together after your mom left, decides to take a photography job in Iraq, nothing can stop the worry, or the fear. And when that same brother has his legs shattered into a million pieces by a roadside bomb, you know that things are never going to be the same again. Then again, you don’t expect your entire world to unravel into one long, hopelessly tangled knot, either. If I had known how bad it was going to be, I don’t know if I would have had the strength to keep going, to step into that airport.

It was snowing when we arrived. One of those wet, stinging, painful-pellets-of-snow types of storms; the kind of storm that slaps you upside the head with the fact that you are dead-smack in the middle of winter. I trailed along after my dad, fiddling with the black satin ribbon wrapped around my wrist as I walked. Just watching him move through the crowd hurt me; the way he held his spine so stiffly, the way his hands were crunched into fists at his side, even the lines around his mouth had deepened overnight.

I hoped I was pretending better than he was. After all, I knew all about hiding fear, about control. I had my hands in fists, too. Otherwise, everyone would have seen the way my fingers were shaking. I couldn’t do anything about the sticky ball of sickness lodged in my belly, though.

When the flight attendant wheeled my brother up to us, for a split second I thought there had been a mistake; this couldn’t be Brandon. He was in a wheelchair, with both of his legs in casts that must have once been white, but were now covered with the grime of international travel. Brandon’s eyes were sunken into their sockets and surrounded by midnight colored flesh. He looked exhausted, strung out.

Brandon didn’t look like Brandon, but worse, he wasn’t acting like himself either. He looked everywhere but at my dad and me, his lips pressed together so hard that they had disappeared. I remembered him doing that all the time as a kid, usually when he was trying not to cry. Brandon was messed up, and it wasn’t from the long flight, or from the weeks he had spent in an Iraqi hospital. It was something else; something eating away at the core of him, his very soul. He was broken, in every way a person could be broken.

I reached out to touch him, to make sure he was real, but my fingers were shaking so badly that I snatched them back before Brandon could see. His homecoming was hard enough without me making it worse and doing the whole hysterical-female thing. I knew neither he nor my dad would appreciate that.

“Hey, Brandon.” Dad reached down and hugged him, his chin banging hard enough against Brandon’s head that he flinched. “I thought you’d never get home.”

“Yeah, for a while there, I thought the only way I’d make it back was in a body bag.” His voice was muffled, lost somewhere in his shirt as he stared down at his lap, clicking one thumbnail against the other, over and over.

He looked up at me for a second and I wished he hadn’t. The stark fear that tightened his jaw, the agony in his eyes, was much worse than when he wouldn’t meet my gaze. This was my brother, the only person who’d been there for me when mom had taken off, after dad had cracked. The same brother who made burned macaroni and cheese for me, who had washed my clothes, then carefully put away my shrunken shirts so I’d have something to wear, who had hugged me when I cried late at night. He was broken and I had to fix him. It was as simple as that.

I slapped a smile across the brittle expanse of my face. I knew it looked fake, but since nothing splintered or broke off, I figured it was good enough. “Hey, Brandon. So you’ve decided you’ve had enough of being the big-shot photographer, huh?” I squeezed his shoulder lightly, afraid that I might crack something in there. “It hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Thanks, Leah. What’s with that get-up you’re wearing?” The words sounded like something he might say, but it wasn’t right. His voice was wrong, flat, empty. But if he could pretend, then I sure as hell could too.

“What, this?” I did a twirl for him, tripping slightly as the toe of one of my boots caught on the heel of another. The short, full skirt of my fuchsia mini-dress belled out around me, before settling back around my legs. “Just a little something I whipped up.”

“You look like a red tulip with a pink stem.”

That had been his favorite insult as a kid, to call me a tulip, or sometimes a lollipop, because of my tall, stick-like body and big bundle of bright red hair that made my head look more huge than it already was. But he’d always been laughing when he said it before. Now his lips were just a flat slash between the two sunken hollows of his cheeks.

I managed to work up a sneer for him before I grabbed the rubber handles of the wheelchair, pushed him slowly and carefully toward the glass doors. It was a relief to be behind him, to not have to worry about keeping my face stretched into lines of happiness. “Yeah, well, your hair is as red as mine!” I didn’t say the rest; that he was just as skinny as me now, that he looked like he’d been in a concentration camp, not recovering in a hospital. I’d always been tall and way too thin, but Brandon had been tall and well-muscled, easily able to tote the heavy bags of his photography equipment through desert, jungle, or war-torn countries. Now it looked like he’d barely be able lift my purse.

I glanced over at my dad and saw that the same worry that was making my palms sweat was stitched into the lines radiating from the corners of his eyes.

“So,” Dad said, his voice hearty in a ‘cheer up the patient’ kind of way, “What do you want to do now that you’re home?”

Brandon’s head drooped forward, making the tendons in the back of his neck stand out like ropes. “Right now, I’d just like a hot shower and bed.”

I let Dad take the handles of the wheelchair so I could shrug into my big, bright blue puffer jacket. So not fashionable, but a necessary evil during a Wisconsin winter. I followed them out into the shadows of an early twilight, where the smallest of snowflakes drifted out of the sky to settle onto the black asphalt, only to be mixed into a dirty soup as car tires crushed the beauty out of them.

Dad bumped the wheelchair roughly over the curb and swore quietly before heading for the parking lot. “We should be able to manage the shower just fine. We got you a nice, plastic seat to put in there, and the doctor said as long as we put garbage bags over your casts, it shouldn’t be a problem.” Dad wheeled him over to where the car was parked in a spot that was clearly marked handicapped. Brandon flushed, his fingers twisting in the material of his basketball shorts, the knuckles turning a lifeless grey. When Dad scooped him up like a child and deposited him in the front seat, Brandon’s face went the same grey color, but with pain.

“Sorry, B.” Dad’s voice was rough and oddly metallic sounding. “Didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Brandon grunted. I looked at him, waiting for him to laugh it off, to curse Dad out, anything. But he just sat there, small balls of sweat shining on his forehead, his eyes glassy. I knew that it wasn’t the pain that was making him freak out. And I swear I felt it, the thick, slippery skid of my life, my family, sliding out of my grasp, and spinning relentlessly out of my control.


My breath curled around me, as fine and delicate as the lightest chiffon, while I slowly rocked the porch swing in the cold and the dark. Up and down the street, light spilled from windows, framing the happy lives that were being lived in those houses. Lives that I wasn’t a part of.

Cody, my next door neighbor and best friend beside Brandon, materialized out of the darkness. He vaulted over the porch rail; the dark sweep of his hair swinging against his jaw, then stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. His golden skin seemed like the only warm, alive thing for miles. He sat next to me, close enough for the heat of his body to seep into mine. “Brandon is back?”

I shifted, uncomfortable that I would even his body, his heat. But I had. I’d been noticing it for a few months now. “Yeah. He’s back.” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t want to acknowledge that something was drastically wrong with my brother. I didn’t want to talk about the bomb that had splintered his leg bones so badly that he might never walk again. I didn’t want to talk about how enraged I was that a photographer could be suffering from a wound that should only affect a soldier. And I definitely didn’t want to talk about the sheer terror I could feel shivering off him every time I got close to him, and the pure, agonizing helplessness that ripped though me, knowing that there was nothing I could do, no way for me to force things to get better.

Cody must have sensed what was going on inside of me, because he draped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me snug against his side. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to.  It was enough that he was there.

I let my head rest against his chest. I shut my eyes as his scent invaded my lungs, spicy and male, with just the slightest hint of cigarettes, which meant he’d either been practicing with his band or his dad was home. It was a scent I’d smelled for a long, long time. It should have been comforting. Instead, it curled through my body, winding its way through my chest, tightening and tugging as if it could scoop my heart out of my body and deposit it in Cody’s hands. Cody, who’d always been there for me, always been my best friend. Cody, who should be like a brother to me. Except, suddenly he wasn’t. And no matter how much I tried to tell myself that was all he was, every time he got close, I knew I was lying to myself. But I also knew that I would keep lying. No way was I going to tell him and open myself up to that kind of hurt.

So I sat back, laid my head on his shoulder, and ignored everything inside of me. We rocked for over an hour, as I sat, listening to the steady thump of his heart, and pretended my own wasn’t racing in response.


A howl jerked me awake in the night. For a split second, I thought a dog had been hit by a car. Then I realized it came from inside the house. I was out of the bed and fighting the tangle of the sheets before I managed to shake off the fog of heavy sleep. I didn’t even grab my robe, just ran down the icy hall in my tank top and shorts.

Light spilled from my brother’s room, along with a sound I’d never heard before; a man sobbing. I stood in the shadows just outside the door and watched as my dad rocked Brandon back and forth, his own tears running unnoticed down his face.

“There’s blood, so much blood.” My brother’s voice shook and cracked.

“I know. Shhh. You’re safe now. Everything’s fine.”

“But they’re not. All those people, the kids, they’re not.” He sobbed again, his breath ripping through his throat.

I walked into the room, made a move toward the bed, but Dad stopped me with a shake of his head. I stepped back, crept into the hall, and slid down the wall until my head was pushed against my knees. Even with my hands pressed against my ears, I could still hear him; still hear the agony burning through my brother. I rocked back and forth in time with my dad’s quiet murmurs, my body growing colder and colder as the night slipped by.

The chilly, grey light of morning was lightening the black squares of the windows before he finally fell asleep. My knees nearly bucked from the lack of blood flow when I stood and peeked in the room. Dad covered him with the blanket, then sank to the floor, his head pressed to the mattress next to the heavy weight of Brandon’s casts. I hadn’t realized until that moment that what had happened to Brandon, what had broken Brandon, might break us all.

Later, when the watery sunlight of a winter morning spilled through the hallway window, I went to find Brandon. I walked through the puddle the sunlight made, but it was fake, with not a shred of warmth clinging to the light. In fact, it almost felt like it was sucking my body heat out into the icy sky.

“Brandon?” I stood in his bedroom door. Brandon lay on his bed, his encased legs stretched out in front of him while he stared at the ceiling. His left eye twitched slightly when I said his name, but that was it. “Brandon?” I said it a little more loudly, and this time, his head turned toward me.

“What?” He looked at me, but his eyes never really focused. He blinked so slowly, I wasn’t sure he would even open them again.

“Do you need anything?”


I took a step into the room. “Brandon. I…” I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I wanted to help so badly. Brandon needed me, needed us. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t let me in.

“I’m fine, Leah. I just want to be left alone.”

“B. I can’t do that.” I took a deep breath, aligning each vertebra in my spine, then walked over to the bed. “What if you had left me alone when Mom left? I’m sure I told you to. But you didn’t, did you? I wouldn’t have made it without you.” I sat on the bed, placing my face directly in his line of vision.

“This isn’t the same.” Brandon turned his head away from me. His hair was tangled into knots, his face almost as pale as the pillow below it.

“Maybe not. But I still think you need me and Dad. You need to ask for help. I want you to get better. Whatever you need, whatever you want, you need to tell me so I can get it for you.” I put my hand on his cheek and felt several days’ worth of stubble catch at my skin. “It hurts me to see you this way.”

Brandon shut his eyes. Two tears seeped from beneath his lids. I watched them slowly trickle over his freckled skin, until they disappeared into his hair. “You can’t help me.”

Pain crawled along in the space behind my eyes. “Maybe not. But there’s someone out there who can. As much as it hurts, there are other people who have gone through similar things, maybe even worse things. And they’ve gotten through it. You need some counseling or something.”

A laugh jerked out of his mouth. “Really, Leah? That’s going to fix everything? Sit in some room with a fucking stranger and spill my guts and everything will be better?”

Each space between my ribs filled with ice as Brandon’s harsh words spilled over me, but I kept going. “Maybe. Maybe not right away, but I’m sure eventually.”

“Just go away, Leah.”

I grabbed Brandon’s fingers, cradling them in my own. They were so cold, I almost dropped them. In the split second that my grip loosened, Brandon pulled away.

He opened his eyes. Red blood spilled beneath the surface of his skin, pooling in two slashes across his cheekbones. “I said get the fuck out!”

His voice ripped through the room and I stumbled to my feet. Brandon was screaming now. He’d never screamed at me in his life. I stared at him, my heart jumping in scared leaps in my chest as Brandon swore at me.

Dad burst into the room. “What’s wrong?”

I kept my voice pitched low, under the loud stream of curses pouring out of Brandon’s mouth. “I was just trying to talk to him, help him.” I jumped as Brandon’s pillow slammed against the wall inches from my head. The lamp fell off his desk, its glass shade shattering into jagged shards at my feet.

Dad sighed. “Maybe it’d be best if you just left.”

“But I-“

Brandon’s shouts suddenly turned to ugly sobs that tore at my ears.

“Just go, Leah.” Dad walked over to Brandon’s bed. As he looked down at my brother, Dad’s big, muscular frame suddenly seemed as fragile as the lamp that lay broken on the floor. I could feel something clawing at my throat, trying to tear its way out of me. I pressed my hand to my neck, keeping it in, holding myself together.

Brandon started to shake, the feet of his bed thumping against his floor with every shudder.

“Go!” Dad shouted as he wrapped his arms around his shattered boy.

I left.


Interview with literary agent Sara Megibow.

Today, we have literary agent Sara Megibow of KT Literary Agency on the blog. Thank you so much, Ms. Megibow, for being here with us!


AN: You’ve joined a new literary agency. Can you tell us a little bit about the objectives, goals, and/or aspirations you have at KT Literary?

SM: Thank you for inviting me here today – such a treat to share time with writers! *waves*

Yes, of course – I’d be happy to share some of my thoughts and goals and I’ll start it off with a big YES – I am currently open to submissions and actively acquiring! (more on that later) J

I have enjoyed working in publishing for almost 9 years – I love bookstores and authors, readers and editors, publishers and librarians. I love hunting for new talent and forming long-term relationships with authors and I especially love watching those authors earn loyal fans.

I had the best possible training at Nelson Literary Agency and will forever be grateful for the opportunity and experience gained with that team.

So, what’s next? I have two main goals for 2015 now that I’m at KT Literary Agency. The first (and most important) is to continue to grow the careers of my current clients. I represent New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors including Roni Loren, Jason Hough and Juliana Stone and it’s vitally important to me that these authors continue to succeed both artistically and commercially. 80-90% of my time each week is spent managing strategy for my current clients – that was true in 2014 and will continue to be true in 2015.

The second goal is to offer representation to new clients. In order to find new clients, I read query letters, sample pages and full manuscripts and then make “the call.”  I’ve read over 2,000 queries since January 1 and I’ve already signed four new clients, so this part seems to be going very well so far!

My agenting motto is “Art. Patience. Discipline.”

That’s a short and easy way to sum up my goals and objectives.



AN: What genres will your new agency rep? What are you specifically looking for right now?

SM: I represent:

middle grade like THE MARK OF THE DRAGONFLY by Jaleigh Johnson

young adult like  BREATHE, ANNIE, BREATHE by Miranda Kenneally

New Adult like ALL OF YOU by Christina Lee

romance like NOTHING BETWEEN US by Roni Loren

erotica like THE SIREN by Tiffany Reisz

science fiction like THE DARWIN ELEVATOR by Jason Hough

fantasy like RADIANT by Karina Sumner-Smith

I am looking for debut authors with a complete and not-previously-published manuscript. As long as the book is done and in a genre of work I represent, I read everything – it can be historical, paranormal, contemporary, steampunk – whatever. I read and love it all.



AN: Ms. Megibow, I see that you are looking for debut authors. Can you define “debut” for us?

SM: As for debut, I think what I’m trying to say is if someone is in the slush pile, a debut author with no bibliography at all – don’t be scared! You are exactly who I am looking for and yes, please send a query! Anyone is welcome to query – self published, previously, published, never published. But, my specialty/ my niche is in the debut author. So many times, an author might feel worried because it’s their first book and they have no track record. Well, worry no more – that’s perfect for me!


AN: Many of my readers are aspiring authors and are actively looking for their first agent. Can you tell them a little bit about what the author/agent relationship is like? What can they expect after they sign with an agent?

SM: Great question! In general, an author/agent relationship should feel like a warm business partnership.

What can an author expect after they sign with an agent? The most fundamental thing is that the agent should have a clear plan on how to make money on that author’s book(s). Not all books sell and not all book deals result in tons of money, but that goal is where the relationship starts. Above and beyond submissions, all agents are different and all authors are different so it’s hard to generalize. The author can likely expect some combination of these things: editorial guidance, answers to questions on publishing process and expectations, submissions strategy, advice on next books, publicity and cheerleading, contracts negotiation and subrights sales.

Personally, I try to answer my clients’ questions quickly (2-5 days for an email even if that’s to say “I’m swamped and will get back to you on this soon”). I also try to be proactive in communicating strategy and quick on my reading. But, I’m less of an editorial agent than some. Each relationship will be different but both author and agent should be able to say, “I’m glad you are part of my team.”


AN: What is one thing about you that a writer would be surprised to learn?

SM: My husband is a full-time beat-boxer in the vocal rock band Face (this actually won’t be too surprising to those of you who follow me on twitter as I share their videos sometimes). My philosophy on agenting comes from being married to a guy in a band. Music and books are similar– the hopes and disappointments, the unpredictability and heartbreak, the ups and downs, the passion and frustration. I try to communicate with my clients and keep them posted on the business side of their career so they can focus on writing great books. I know my work doesn’t negate all the nerves (nothing ever will), but I can honestly say that I understand the emotional arc of publishing from the writers’ perspective because I live it at home daily.


AN: Best piece(s) of advice you can give a writer we haven’t talked about yet?

SM: Master your craft

Do your research

That’s two pieces of advice, sorry. J

Remember: “Art. Patience. Discipline.”


AN: Are you open to submissions? If so, how should a writer go about submitting?

SM: Yes, I am open to submissions!

The submissions guidelines for KT Literary Agency are posted here:


A writer can submit a query to me if their book is 100% complete, not previously published and in a genre of work I represent.

To submit a query send a one page query letter and the first three pages of the manuscript to saraquery@ktliterary.com  A query letter should sound like the back cover of a novel and writers interested in reading successful queries can research at these sites:

Kate Testerman’s extensive “About My Query” blog posts:


Writers Digest Successful Queries:


Query Shark:


Evil Editor:


Happy writing everyone and Happy 2015 to all!

Twitter @SaraMegibow