So this is the hardest section of all to write for a query letter. How do you distill your four hundred page novel into three sentences? These three sentences have to make an agent or editor want to request more. The task seems monumental.
First of all, you need a hook, a sentence that tells the agent your story is unique and interesting. For an example, let’s take a look at the classic story, Cinderella. This is what a hook for Cinderella might look like: “In a fairytale world, a young girl (16) is cruelly imprisoned by her stepmother shortly after her father dies.” Or you could say, “A young girl (16), forced to be a slave for her stepmother, is rescued from a life of drudgery by the appearance of a magical being, who transforms her into a beautiful princess.” Just keep brainstorming ideas until you find the best one.
There is no right or wrong way to write a hook. It is just a short sentence that you feel captures the unique and appealing nature of your story. Admittedly, this is a lot easier to do for someone else’s story then your own. I struggle with it as well. Just spend a lot of time on it, polish, polish, polish, and don’t send it out until you feel it is the best possible hook you could write.
The next two sentences (okay you could do three, to bring your total to four, but NO MORE THAN THAT!!!) are a short description of your book. Back to our example. First, our hook, “A young girl, forced to be a slave for her stepmother, is rescued from a life of drudgery by the appearance of a magical being, who transforms her into a beautiful princess.” Now our descriptive sentences, “Suddenly, Cinderella is living a dream, one filled with grand balls, fine food, and the young man of her dreams, a handsome prince. But when her stepmother learns of her deception, and exposes it to the entire world, Cinderella is over come with shame, and wonders how a prince could ever love a dirty servant?”
That’s it. You’ve written the hardest part of a query. Make sure you only focus on your main plot line; ignore all subplots for your query. It also helps if you practice on other novels and stories, before you attempt your own. There are lots of good books out there with exercises to simplify the process. The best one is in Donald Maass’s book Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook (make sure you get the workbook, not the book, although the book is excellent as well). This book is worth the purchase price, just for that exercise alone, but is chock-full of other wonderful exercises as well.